Dib's diary o' DOOM
by Last-Summoner
Summary: ZADR, maybe other pairings in future. Dib's secret diary of doom! Dib's POV, of course!
1. February 13 March 4

_**February 13.**_

Tomorrow is that horrible holiday called Valentine's Day. I wonder why it's a holiday at all. I'm too upset I won't get a single card again, so I decided that in this case no one needs a card from me as well. Well, I wasn't going to write a card for anyone in the first place, so I suppose its okay then.

Why I can't stop thinking about Zim?

---

**_February 14._**

Got a card from Zim!

My heart was pondering like mad when he threw it at me. I thanked him. He told me I didn't really deserve it.

The card exploded in my hands when I opened it. Zim laughed his eyes wet. I was sent to the hospital.

---

_**February 16.**_

My hands and face still hurts a bit, so it's hard to write. Was offended that Zim used that terrifying holiday against me. When I told Gaz how I feel she said that I deserved it for choosing such a horrible boyfriend. Complained that I'm not gay. Was ignored.

---

**_February 18._**

Went back to school. Zim was laughing again. He laughed on the lessons and then on the launch break. I told him he's a stink. He only laughed harder and choked on the cafeteria "something" we got today. I wonder how he managed not to die.

---

_**February 19.**_

I took my camera and left to take some photos of Zim. Caught him choosing a new suit from a wardrobe. He got about a hundred outfits, and all the same! He stood there for about three hours, but couldn't decide which one to pick. When he at last took one of the suits I felt unnaturally excited to see him taking the one he had on him off, but he seemed to suddenly dislike the clothes he chose and put it back into the wardrobe. I got mad, threw my camera on the ground and went back home.

I wonder does Zim ever have a bath.

---

**_February 20._**

It was another boring Sunday.

Watched through the old photos of Zim. Felt so _excited _I had to go have a cold shower.

Maybe I should go visit some kind of a doctor?

---

_**February 21.**_

Gaz told me not to ever touch her soda. As if I give a damn!

Stared at Zim at maths, then got him staring back at me. We stared at each other the whole day, so I couldn't get a proper breakfast.

Went home and found out that there's nothing in refrigerator except Gas' soda. Life is full of irony.

---

**_February 21._**

Gaz flushed my tooth brush in the toilet. I pretended I don't care.

In the evening found all of my Zim's photos deleted. She'll pay, I swear!!!

---

**_February 22._**

Found Zim going to the cinema. He said he was going to watch a movie about us "filthy spices being destroyed by the some powerful aliens, but not as powerful as Zim, of course, but still not bad at all if they decided to destroy humans". We walked together, I felt foolishly glad. Zim had an argument when he was told to pay money for ticket. Told me to pay for him. I bought us two tickets on the last row.

God, I was like sitting on needles for the whole movie! Zim was amused and clapped his hands when the monsters were eating some pitiful men. I wanted to take him by the hand, but I knew I can't, so I sat deep in my chair biting my lips and tried to watch the damn film.

Stood under a cold shower for about 40 minutes as soon as I got home. This certainly isn't normal.

---

**_February 23._**

Another horrible day. A bully from our class called me a faggot. I asked Mrs. Bitters why I look like a faggot. She said: "Because you are a faggot, Dib. Face your faggot faith". I wonder why everyone thinks this way. Hope Zim won't hear such a thing about me.

---

_**February 24.**_

Zim asked me what a faggot is. He has probably heard everybody calling me a faggot, so I told him it's a cool thing. I regretted it instantly, because he started to yell that he is far too faggot-er then me and wants to be called the Faggot of Faggots. I told him the truth. He punched me in my face very hard, so I'm in the hospital again.

---

**_February 25._**

Waiting for the X-Raying. My nose is bleeding non-stop.

---

**_February 26._**

A bully from our class came to throw a dead decomposed mouse at me. Nothing else has happened in past two days.

---

**_February 27._**

Doctors said my nose is broken, but I'm doing alright. I felt upset that Zim is so mean to me, then got enraged because I got upset again.

In the evening Zim came to visit me. He brought me a "get well" card with a "please die soon, you horrible worm baby!" hand writing inside. I'm carefully keeping it under my pillow.

---

**_February 28._**

I can go back home this week! I wonder if Zim missed arguing with me.

In the evening Gaz came to visit me. She brought me another "get well" card with a "don't you ever touch my soda when you get well, Dib!" hand writing inside. Is this some kind of mockery?!

---

_**March 1.**_

Looked at Zim's "get well" card all day. It had flowers printed on it. Felt sad again. Damn it.

---

**_March 2._**

Got a "get well" card from dad. It said: "Get well, my poor insane son". Felt like I gonna kill somebody.

---

**_March 3._**

At last home! Tomorrow I can go to school to see Zim. I found myself missing him badly. Maybe I AM insane if I miss someone who broke my nose?

---

**_March 4._**

Father found my collection of Zim's photos (I printed it, because Gaz had found out the password to my PC). He shook his head and said: "My poor insane faggot son! You choose a truly horrible object of your sick feelings". Complained that I'm not gay. Was ignored.

I thought a lot about this tonight. I came to conclusion that if everyone is thinking that I'm a "faggot" anyway, there's no point in denying it so hard - no one listens to me, as usual.

So I decided to confess to Zim. Tomorrow I'll tell him everything I'd been thinking of. Hope he won't break some of my bones again.

_**A/N: Do I need to continue???**_


	2. March 5 March 16

**_A/N: _**_Ugh, I'm so sorry I'm updating now... but maybe you'll read it anyway, even through it's too late. The chapter's kinda short, but I hope you like it. I'm trying to keep you intrigued. I promise something interesting will happen at last in the next chapter. Aaaaand... I think I'll start Zim's diary as well. _

_Some good old romance will happen next chapter, I swear. Cookies of doom for everyone!=)  
_

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**March 5.**

I was preparing my love speech all night. Thought of thousand different versions of my phrases, his answers and my answers on his answers. Drew myself a PLAN OF SPEECH, but it was about two and half meteres long and too heavy to carry. Spent the remaining hours before skool learning the PLAN by heart.

I was waiting for the launch break to talk to Zim, but the lessons were too long, boring and exhausting to bear, so I accidentally fell asleep at the table, with my face right in the cafeteria "something" we got for dinner. I smelled horribly and has totally forgot my speech about love. Gaz looked at me and giggled. That was terrifying.

Crap.

**March 6.**

I decided I need an advice.

Thought about Gaz. Looked at her drawing some bloody monstrous stuff and decided to never think about her again.

Thought about dad. Phoned him, but he got something exploded in the middle of our speech. Thought - what kind of advice he could give me anyway? He'll definitely say something about "poor insane" me.

Thought about my friends. Thought about my friends a lot. Added a point about making some friends to my "to-do in future list".

Searched for an advice in internet. Only found a lot of naughty pictures. Had to go to the bathroom for three times.

That was one stupid day.

**March 7.**

I was dead, dead nervous when I walked to Zim's table at launch (thanks god he's too alien to have friends and sits alone). He told me to get lost - he was making his to-do list. "I heard that sometimes it helps thinking. Of course I'm too awesome and smart, but - why not?" - he said, scratching his cheek with a pencil. I collected all the strength I got and told him: "I think I love you, Zim". Zim was so surprised he accidentally pocked himself in the eye with that pensil. I patiently waited until his screaming and cursing was over. Zim asked me, what's this supposed to mean. "Is that some kind of a... curse or something? Don't you try treatening fearless ZIM?". I told him love is actually a good and useful thing. He scratched his cheek again and made a note to his to-do list: "Make some great doomy love of unspeakable horrible doom to this planet".

Then, before I could ask him about his feelings to me, he threw a fork into my face and was gone.

I wonder if it's a good sight.

**March 8.**

Wondered what it feels like - to kiss an alien. Zim's got such a long tongue. Thought of it so hard I had to go to the bathroom again.

Felt guilty and perverted, especially after touching myself. Decided that I'll never do it again.

**March 9.**

Was anxious and restless all the time until lunch. Noticed that I live from lunch to lunch, even dreamed about never ending lunch break to talk to Zim. Maybe I'm really crazy after thoughts like that?

Sat with Zim and tried to start a normal (ha. ha. ha.) conversation, but couldn't think of a proper beginning. He didn't notice me up until I coughed.

- You! You... You! I hate you! - he yelled.

I couldn't help it but drawl:

- Oh, how original.

- You! Um... I'm not listening to you.

He turned away and stared at the opposite wall demonstratively. I decided I can still tell him something.

- Zim... Did you think about the... The stuff I told you?

- I'm not listening! What stuff?

- Well, about my... feelings.

- I'm not listening to your feelings and I'm not listening to you, and I'm not listening... At all! - he yelled so hard he got everybody's attention. Someone threw a cupcake into his head. I've completely lost the whole love mood and decided to talk to Zim in private as soon as I get a chance.

Waiting for a chance.

**March 12.**

Still waiting for a chance.

**March 13.**

Was waiting for a chance all morning. Zim stared at me suspiciously, and then spoke to me at the launch break. I was so happy when I saw him approaching me with such a determined expression on his face! When I turned to him with a smile he even got scared and gasped.

- Why are you so quiet, horrible human monster? Why don't you speak to Zim? I know you're planning some horrible human monster-stuff! - he said, waving his hands.

Told him I'm not planning anything right now.

- You lie! Filthy lies! Don't you try ruining my great doom plans! - he screamed in horror and ran away before I got the damn chance.

Started to think that he's acting crazy not because he's an alien, but just because he's crazy. Or because he's a crazy alien.

This is lame.

**March 14.**

Zim didn't come to skool. Worried all day. Worried so much that even decided to talk to Gaz about it. Asked her if she has ever been ignored by the object of her sympathy. She called me a "stupid faggot reject" and told me to go get lost.

Then was ignored in the cafeteria and didn't get any food. Then was ignored by mrs. Bitters and didn't get a chance to show my new presentation. Then was ignored by Gaz again, and then was ignored by dad who was too busy to even say how poor and insane I am.

Why is everybody ignoring me?

**March 15.**

Decided to go visit Zim. Thought about some kind of a present for him, but didn't have any ideas. Decided not to ask Gaz or dad again and just wait for the ideas to come to me.

Waited the whole day. Ideas are ignoring me as well.

Decided to just go and see what'll happen.


End file.
